Often catastrophes are not only salvageable but they can lead to some of the most valuable client relationships you'll have.
The first six months of a relationship are wonderful. There are flowers, candy and hundreds of emoji filled texts that are promptly read and responded to. You leave each other in the evening and video chat a few hours later.
You share your food, wipe each others mouths and walk down the street with your hands in each other’s back pocket.
You are happy and so in love with your companion. You can’t get enough of each other.
A year later you’ve broken up…
How You Start Never Matters
But you started off so well. The relationship was perfect. You were so sweet and in love with each other and somehow the passion still faded.
Statistics show that most relationships go from hot, heavy and passionate to “meh” in about 18 months. The feelings people associate with being in love—the butterflies and the longing—dissipate during this time and the couple begins to wonder if they should carry on with the relationship.
New research shows that relationships are actually more vulnerable to demise far sooner than the dreaded seven year itch. The most common time for a couple to split is right around the two year mark.
By then, you’ve most likely seen everything about your partner—their best and their worst physically and emotionally. You have started to get used to each other’s presence and the spark to stay passionate and playful has gradually faded in the relationship because you just no longer feel the same. Lots of couples end their relationship here.
What most couples who end their relationship there don’t realize is that this is just a phase. It’s a part of the process and happens to all couples.
The Five Stages Every Relationship Goes Through
The first mistake couples make is believing that when the “infatuated” feeling fades, it’s a sign that the love is fading as well. They think that when the butterflies are gone, it’s time to end the relationship.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
When it comes to relationships, experts agree there are five distinct stages. Every relationship goes through these stages. The ones that last successfully make it through all five, but most relationships get stuck and fall apart during stage three.
Stage 1: Passion and Romance
This is the honeymoon or infatuation stage. It is filled with lots of kisses and touching each other for no particular reason. It is when you are completely taken by your mate and are blind to his or her flaws.
It is the easiest phase to endure and very intense.
Stage 2: Getting Serious
This is still within the infatuation or honeymoon stage. You are still blinded by love but have the clarity to see that this relationship has long-term potential. This is when the relationship becomes exclusive and you begin making long-term plans with your partner.
There is still lots of hand-holding, cuddling, and you give each other meaningful nicknames. You begin to share yourself more intimately with your mate.
Stage 3: Relationship Plateau
Stage three is when the relationship becomes real. The blinders are off and you see your partner for who they really are. Physical touch like hand-holding, kissing and other forms of physical intimacy may be starting to slow down a bit. The butterflies are gone and your partner doesn’t seem as cute as they once were.
The hardest part about stage three is that you both begin to question the relationship: where is the passion we used to have for each other? is our love fading away? is he/she the one I can be with for a longer time?
Stage 4: Moving Beyond Infatuation
Once you’ve chosen to move past stage three and to stick with the relationship, you develop a deep and intimate bond. This is the time when couples really begin to merge their lives. Serious discussions concerning marriage, kids and finances ensue and plans are made to move the couple forward as a unit.
This is when the relationship is solidified and the couple builds a life together. Many couples make it to this phase and experience a long, healthy and meaningful relationship.
But there is one more phase…
Stage 5: Becoming a Team
Stage five of the relationship is when the couple becomes a solid team. The relationship moves past “me and you” decision-making and the team becomes more important than the individuals.
This is the part of a relationship everyone longs for but few reach. It’s the true love phase.
It’s when the couple has the best chance of making it to “happily-ever-after.” That’s not to say that there will not be challenges, hardships and bumps in the road. But it does mean that both parties are committed to staying and making the relationship work no matter what.
It’s the phase of full acceptance and unconditional love.
Breaking Through the Honeymoon Stage
Most relationships that end do so somewhere within stage three. Other relationships can last for years and never make it out of stage three, but the relationship is not healthy and neither partner is fulfilled.
The first thing you must understand when you began to feel disillusioned is that feelings don’t sustain a relationship. Feelings are unreliable because they vary and are subject to moods and external factors.
Think of when a family celebrates the arrival of a newborn. At first, all of the attention is on the new addition and everything is sweet and cute. After a few months of dirty diapers, spit up and random crying, the initial excitement passes but that doesn’t mean the parents don’t love the baby anymore.
A romantic relationship works similarly. It’s the struggling process that helps both partners grow and this process also helps the relationship grow into something better, something that will last. Giving up at Stage 3 is like declaring the death of a patient with a beating heart.
The duration of each stage is different for every couple. For some couples, the honeymoon stage may last for years and for others a few months. The important thing to note is the length of the stage has no correlation to the viability of the relationship.
When you reach stage three, you have the power to determine how long it lasts. Getting out of stage three requires you to make a decision. You must decide that your relationship is worth it and you must chose to go all in.
Here are a few things you can do to help move your relationship out of stage 3:
Recognize that questioning your relationship is normal and necessary.
Allow yourself time to assess whether or not your concerns are simply connected to a loss of passion or if you have legitimate concerns about your partner and the relationship.
Talk about your concerns with the right person.
Make sure that you share your concerns with your partner. Saying something as simple as “I feel that our relationship is getting a bit boring these days, I think we should do something about it,” could be the juice the relationship needs. It will start a dialogue and assist you both in actively addressing your concerns.
Sharing your concerns and seeking advice from others during this time is normal and acceptable, just be careful who you listen to.
Make a decision and then put in the work.
Once you decide that the relationship is viable, do something about it. Don’t make your decision and then hope things will get better.
Actively work to move your relationship further. Try new things. Do things your partner likes to do. Be romantic on purpose.
Relationships take heaps of effort. It’s time to put in the work.
It’s Not How You Start, It’s How You Journey Through
All relationships take time, energy and targeted, intentional effort.
It doesn’t matter how “lovey-dovey” cute and cuddly you are in the beginning. The honeymoon will end. And when it does you must work in order to make it last. Stage three doesn’t have to be the death of your relationship. You control whether to relationship lives or dies.
Will your relationship become a stage fiver?
Featured photo credit: Jordan Bauer on Unsplash via unsplash.com
|||^||Gurl: Wondering “When Will We Break Up?” Find Out Why And When People Break Up Most!|
|||^||Everyday Health: Is the seven-year itch real?|
|||^||The Modern Man: 5 Stages of a Relationship|
Most people wouldn’t think that empathy has a downside or limits, but in our relationships it’s not always a positive tool. It’s something that can be depleted, leaving our emotional tanks empty for other family members.
Empathy is just one ingredient in the recipe for deep connections with our intimate partners. We have to look past this tool and understand its negative effects if we really want to create lasting connections.
First, some definitions are in order.
What Exactly Is Empathy
Empathy is our ability to put ourselves in the place of other people. This allows us to understand their feelings and even experience their pain. Without empathy, it’s difficult to have insights into other people’s behaviors.
Everyone has some ability to empathize thanks to mirror neurons in the brain which allow us to feel what other people feel. When we see a soccer player miss the ball only to kick another player square in the crotch, we react instantly to the perceived pain.
We feel what they feel without any effort. We can experience a wide range of emotions for situations we’ve never been in because of these neurons. We can also learn how to do things the same way.
Feeling what other people feel can alter our behaviors in a positive way. We can predict how other people might react when we leave the sink full of dishes, or place chocolates and a card on the bed for a nice surprise.
This means we can avoid certain behaviors or adopt positive ones that make our partners happy.
“Compassionate empathy “is a balance of positive cognitive and emotional empathy, which prompts us to take action, as needed.” For instance, a messy partner, who has compassionate empathy, can imagine and feel how annoying or even distressing it is for their partner to deal with their mess, so they modify their behavior and pick up after themselves, she said.” – PsychCentral
Arguments can be diffused when we pause to understand someone’s position from their point of view, even when we don’t agree. It allows to see how someone might take a certain stance based on where they’re coming from.
The Negative Side of Empathy
Relying too much on empathy can be an emotional drain. In certain studies, people who used empathy in the workplace had less to give to their families. It’s a finite emotional reserve which can be depleted.
This leads to negative trade offs. Most people wouldn’t make these trade offs consciously if they knew there was going to be less empathy available for loved ones.
Empathy can be used for manipulation too. By understanding other people’s feelings, we can use those feelings against them. In many emotionally abusive relationships, one person may use anger as a tool because they know their partner will do as they want, and attempt to “put out the fire” to make them happy again.
“Both cognitive and emotional empathy can be used in negative ways (e.g. someone might use cognitive empathy to be manipulative; someone who takes on their partner’s emotions might become too burned out to support them).” 
Empathy can also be misplaced when we don’t understand context. For example, being nice is generally a good thing. We want to treat others with respect, and can anticipate the same in return. We naturally like people who treat us with some level of respect and kindness.
This can backfire in the case of the “nice guy” who wants to attract a woman. In this context, nice doesn’t equal turned on. She may like him but it will be on a platonic level. He’s putting himself into the wrong person’s shoes and won’t get the reaction he predicted empathetically.
What’s More Important Than Empathy In a Relationship
A good relationship is made up of many ingredients which can be thought of as a recipe. No single ingredient is enough on it’s own, but put everything together and you’re more likely to succeed.
- Mutual responsibility – Take responsibility for everything you do and never play the blame game.
- Shared values – Connect on shared values such as respect for life, family, success ambitions, lifestyle or any other value which is a big part of your life blueprint. Find out more about how to know your values here: Knowing My Values Has Filled up the Long-Existed Missing Gap in My Life
- Trust – Establish trust by being reliable. That means following through on everything you say you’re going to do.
- Boundaries – Create boundaries which allow for mutual respect, and let your partner know if they’re being crossed.
- Relationship clarity – Don’t make assumptions on the big things. Always be clear by talking about it.
- Emotional Intelligence – Work on your own emotional intelligence for better communication and understanding. This includes empathy. Learn from my other article How to Be More Emotionally Sensitive
- Shared Passions – Connect on interest which compels you. Mutual passions create deeper bonds than superficial activities. If you have a passion for the outdoors, it’s going be more powerful than watching Seinfeld reruns together (although that’s OK too).
- Sexual Polarity – Sameness = no chemistry. It’s important that both partners know where they stand and their roles. Although different context will call for different aspects of our personalities, both the partners trying to fulfill the same role will lead to disinterest.
Three Questions to Ask in Place of Using Empathy
Instead of trying to guess what your partner is feeling, ask him or her instead. It’s true that we can learn a lot about our partner’s emotions through observation and empathy, but don’t underestimate the power of a direct question.
“When trying to empathize, it’s generally better to talk with people about their experiences than to imagine how they might be feeling.” – Adam Waytz 
That doesn’t mean you’re always going to get a complete answer though. This is where asking the right questions comes in. It also pays to ask questions that hit a few different angles so that you can have ‘big picture’ understandings.
Start with these:
- How do you feel?
- What do you want?
- What do you think?
When communication is open, these questions will open up a dialogue. It’s also a lot easier than trying to guess emotions and desires, and will reduce the need for empathy. This means we can save more empathy for situations where it’s more useful without getting burnt out.
Outside of asking, pay attention to what your partner actually does. A person’s actions always speak louder than words.
Featured photo credit: Alvin Mahmudov on Unsplash via unsplash.com
|||^||PsychCentral: The Power of Empathy in Romantic Relationships & How to Enhance It|
|||^||Harvard Business Review: The Limits of Empathy|
The post Why Empathy Is Both the Hero and the Villain in a Relationship appeared first on Lifehack.
No matter how the battery your phone evolves, it’s never enough. With heavy use, a fully charged smartphone can still hardly last a day. I’m sure you’ve experienced the trouble of having to use your phone, and being unable to as you’ve ran out of battery. As such, many have found it useful to invest in additional power banks.
One issue with this is that many of the power banks on the market are too big to be easily carried around, are ineffective, are too expensive, or simply look bad. However, there are some power banks that are so well designed, and work so well with your phone that they completely change the way you use it.
Thanks to these power banks you’ll never need to worry about running out of power again.
1. The Nifty X – Wearable Cable with Powerbank
The NiftyX is unlike any other power bank on the market. Where many power banks are cumbersome and tricky to carry around, the NiftyX couldn’t be easier. This is a power bank you wear.
From the outside it looks like a cool decorative bracelet, in actuality it’s a high functioning and dynamic power bank ideal for the use when you’re out, usable whatever the weather. With it you can charge and sync your phone, wherever you are with ease.
It’s definitely one of the better looking and more versatile power banks.
2. Lifecard – The World’s Thinnest Powerbank
In 2016, Lifecard won iPhone Life magazine’s best of the prestigious Consumer Electronics Show (CES).The Lifecard is beautifully designed. It is just the size of a credit card, brilliantly compact, fitting in your wallet with ease, plus its stainless steel finish gives it a sleek, futuristic appearance and great durability. Though extremely thin, you don’t need to worry about it breaking.
What’s more, it can charge up to 80% of an iPhone 5s and 65% of an iPhone 6.
3. Pearl Compact Mirror Battery Pack
This is a product that is wholly unique. It merges the two worlds of fashion, and smartphone technology in such a way that is both unexpected and extremely inventive. The Pearl Compact Mirror Battery Pack is both a makeup mirror (two of them actually) and powerful USB recharging station. As such it is the perfect companion for a night out.
As a charging station, it is effective thanks to its 3000mAh lithium polymer battery. And as a make up station, it is fantastic with two mirrors (one ordinary , and one with 3x magnification) and a ring of LED lights around the mirror enabling you to apply makeup in low lighting.
4. Power Bank Compact by FREEWISE
This power bank is slightly larger than others on this list, but its built in battery powers is as huge as 10,000 mAh. This multiple times the power of many other power banks. With this huge power output, you can charge more than one device at a time.
It’s perfect if you travel with multiple devices. You won’t need to worry about running out of power at all.
5. Ankler Power Core Slim
The Ankler Power bank is sleek and slim in design, meaning it can be carried around anywhere with ease, and is largely unnoticeable until you need it.
Despite it’s slim design, it carries a significant amount of power, enough to fully charge an iPhone 6s twice, or a Samsung Galaxy S7 fully once. So it is ideal for getting a full charge easily wherever you are.
On top of this, it is protected by a silicon shield, keeping it well protected and scratch free.
6. PocketFuel Power Bank Battery With Solar Panel
This power bank has built in sensors to detect if your device is fully charged, and if so, will shut off, meaning that it doesn’t waste any power by over charging your phone.
It gets its power from a highly sensitive solar power system which can charge from your house lights or overcast weather. It is perfect for the more adventurous users who want to keep their phones charged when hiking. It is fully waterproof, extremely tough, and has a built in flashlight. It also comes with a carabiner, so can be easily carried anywhere.
7. Mophie Juice Pack Wireless and Charging Base (for iPhone 6/6S)
Where virtually all power banks need cables and wires to charge your phone, the Morphie Juice Pack charges your phone wireless. All you need to do is place your device on its charging base and your phone starts to charge automatically, so you don’t need to worry about carrying extra wires with you.
The pad is magnetic and it attaches to your phone smoothly and securely, keeping itself in place as it charges.It’s surprisingly small in size so can be taken with you easily.
It also senses if your phone is charged and reacts accordingly making sure your phone isn’t over charged, or overheats.
8. Monteverde Powerbank Ballpoint Pen
This is like something out of a James Bond movie. As you might expect by the name, the Power Bank pen is a power bank that also functions as a ballpoint pen.
Admittedly it doesn’t pack too much power, it houses a 650 mAh battery (which is good for an emergency charge). This isn’t so much of a problem because as it is a pen too, it is good to carry around with you anyway.
Most of the power banks on this list are easy to take with you, but this is a power bank that you’ll want to carry with you.
9. i.Valux Unique Designed Stand Shockproof Bumper iPhone 6 Plus/7 Plus External Power Bank Charger
This power bank is small in size so it can be easily taken with you. This power bank is also magnetized, and it comfortably attaches itself to your phone (though this uses wires). It is designed in such a way that you can use your phone, headphone jack, and camera easily, even while it is charging.
It is built out of high quality plastic, so it keeps your phone protected. Even if you drop it, it won’t sustain damage.
On top of everything else, it protects your phone from over charging, overheating, short circuiting, or discharging.
i.Valux Unique Designed Stand Shockproof Bumper iPhone 6 Plus/7 Plus External Power Bank Charger, $19.49
10. Powrtabs Disposable Power Pack
This power bank is by far the most environmentally friendly. It is 100% recyclable (even the battery) and each one has been made from recycled plastic. They are great for providing a quick blast of emergency power as they charge quickly.
They are designed strictly for emergencies and are single use only. This isn’t as big a problem as it sounds though, as they are far cheaper than any other power bank on this list, and as mentioned, you’ll find no problems getting rid of it.
The post 10 Stylish And Durable Power Banks You Can Buy for Under $50 appeared first on Lifehack.
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It’s camping season! Many people want to get closer to nature and camp in the wild, but they don’t really know which essentials they need and how to find them at the right price.
Our list is for the camping lover on a budget. You don’t need to pay for luxurious products in order to fully enjoy nature. These pieces, despite their price tags, will ensure that you have a great experience in the great outdoors.
For those of you who love nature, hiking, and all things outdoors, here’s a must-have list of camping gear the Lifehack team has handpicked for you.
1. AmazonBasics Tent
This 100% polyester tent is family-size, so it accommodates up to 8 campers. This roomy tent measure 15 x 9 feet with a center height of 6 feet. Plenty of space to stand up and move around!
It also has essential features to protect against inclement weather: a rainfly for added protection, plus a cool-air port and variable venting system. With shock-corded poles, it’s easy to follow the assembly instructions.
P.S. It also comes with a 4-person size tent if you’re camping with a smaller group.
2. Portable Sleeping Bag by Abco Tech
Designed for near-freezing temperatures, this is perfect for northern climates! This waterproof, weather-resistant sleeping bag will keep you warm even at 20°F.
Light-weight and made with 210T high-quality polyester, it’s easy to travel with in its carry bag and compression sack with straps. You can machine-wash it too!
3. GRAYL Ultralight Water Purifier (with filter bottle)
Ideal for global traveling, outdoor adventures, emergency preparedness, hiking, packing, camping, fishing, survival… you name it!
This water bottle is an amazing design. Fast and easy to use, you can simply fill, press, and drink. It removes 99.9999% of all viruses, disease-causing bacteria, and protozoan cysts. It also filters out sediment, chemicals, and heavy metals. Your water will have zero aftertaste, no bad odors, and will run totally clear.
4. AmazonBasics Internal Frame Hiking Backpack with Rainfly
This internal-frame backpack with 55L capacity (50L + 5L extension collar) is made of durable polyester. With its many pockets, large sleeping-bag compartment, and comfy multi-directional compression straps, this backpack is ideal for hiking and camping.
It has a water-repellent exterior coating and integrated water-resistant rainfly for light rain, a waterproof cover is also included for heavier rain.
5. KingCamp Moon Saucer Camping Chair Steel Frame Folding Padded Round – Portable Stable with Carry Bag
Need a comfortable seat out in the wild? This camping chair is uber-comfortable and portable. It has a padded seat, a large pocket on the back of the chair, and a storage bag with shoulder strap for easy carry. It folds up in seconds and has handles on the back of the seat. Its sturdy steel frame has a weight capacity of up to 260 lbs.
KingCamp Moon Saucer Camping Chair Steel Frame Folding Padded Round – Portable Stable with Carry Bag, $45.99
6. Camping Cookware Stove Carabiner Canister Stand Tripod Folding Spork Set
This huge set of cookware will make eating while camping super convenient. This 16-piece camping cookware set includes a folding stainless steel spork/spoon, spoon, knife, mini stove with piezo ignition, anodized aluminum nonstick pot, frying pan, pan cover, and 2 BPA free bowls, BPA free soup spoon, rice ladle, loofah sponge, carabiner, and nylon bag.
All the objects in this cooking set can be stored together in a mesh bag for space saving and convenient carry.
7. COB LED Camping Lantern
This budget-friendly camping lantern works up to 300 lumens and is perfect for space of 30-square meters. You can expect the light to last a whopping 10000 hours. You can switch it to its emergency flashlight function if necessary – in this mode, the light is IW LED and lasts up to 10 hours.
The camping lantern is extendable. You extend it when using and collapse it to store. It is smaller when collapsed and takes little space in your backpack. It’s also built to withstand water, so you can use it even in the rain.
Its brightness and long-time working will make camping and hiking at dusk or nighttime way safer.
8. A2S Paracord Bracelet Survival Gear Kit
You need this 5-in-1 survival tool! This kit includes a high-quality illuminated compass, a flint fire starter, a fire scrapper inside the buckle, emergency knife, and emergency whistle (which creates a sound up to 100 decibels).
Made of ultra-strong, military-grade 550 Paracord (12-ft’s worth), this has a lightweight and comfortable design. It has been tested to a breaking point of 550 lbs.
9. Microfiber Travel Sports Towel (24″ X 48″) for Camping
Made of 100% microfiber, this sports towel is lightweight, soft and gentle to skin. It’s extremely quick-drying, ultra-absorbent, and antibacterial.
You can fold this towel and put it in a compact carrying bag, making it easily portable.
10. Baleaf Unisex Packable Outdoor Waterproof Rain Jacket Hooded Raincoat Poncho
This raincoat/poncho is made of 100% Nylon. It’s lightweight and totally waterproof, offering you water resistance with very little weight. The funnel hood has an adjustable drawstring and elastic cuffs to help keep your clothes dry. Plus, it has a back pocket for extra storage!
Featured photo credit: Finda via finda.photo
The post 10 Must-Have Camping Gear With Low Budget For Nature Enthusiasts appeared first on Lifehack.
The statistics are dismal. A recent study has found that 69% of people feel trapped in the same old routine, and only 3 out of 10 people are happy with their lives. People are feeling stuck.
Some are feeling stuck in their careers, feeling like they’re too far along one path to make a change. Some are feeling stuck in their personal lives. The toll of the daily grind sucks most of their time and energy, and their relationships, self-care, and personal goals get lost in the shuffle of the treadmill existence.
When people come across these challenges of feeling stuck, the feeling sometimes doesn’t go away. It often intensifies as time goes on. As the stuck feeling intensifies, some people choose to settle. Subconsciously, without even realizing it, they end up pushing their dreams and goals further and further down.
Others, if the feeling of being stuck intensifies to an unbearable point, choose to make changes. They may choose to pivot in their careers, even after years at a successful job. They may end up making big changes in their relationships, or start putting their fitness at a higher priority. They may make drastic changes to finally feel free. These changes can be incredibly difficult to make, especially if a person has lived many years in a certain lifestyle.
Feeling stuck is NOT fun. I’ve been there. I get it.
People Feel Stuck Once in a While
There are many causes of feeling stuck. Many people work toward goals that don’t actually align with who they are at the core or what they truly desire. I call these “False Objectives”.
Living a life of False Objectives can cause people to feel very stuck and frustrated. People can build lives that are very “successful” according to society, but if you’ve built your life based on False Objectives, you’re not going to feel fulfilled. You’ll end up feeling stuck.
Another cause of feeling stuck is not knowing who you are. If you don’t understand how you’re innately wired – your strengths, your gifts, your talents, your passions – it’s tough to make decisions that enable you to maximize those. It’s tough to reach your full potential if you don’t know who you are.
You can feel stuck if you’re doing work that doesn’t allow you to maximize your innate strengths. If you’re doing work that doesn’t bring out the best in who you are at the core, you’ll likely feel some dissatisfaction and you won’t reach your full potential.
Other people feel stuck because they haven’t surrounded themselves with mentors or peers who have achieved what they want to achieve, so they stay in certain routines while craving to do life differently. As Jim Rohn says,
“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”
If your goal is to run a marathon and you’re spending most evenings and weekends drinking beer with your coworkers, you’re probably not going to run that marathon. If your goal is to live a location-independent lifestyle and work anytime from anywhere, and everyone in your social circle is at traditional jobs, it’ll be tough to break free from the 9-5 mentality.
Feeling Stuck Screws Up People’s Lives
The consequences of feeling stuck can range from mild to severe. People may feel a mild discontentment with life and end up succumbing to the idea that life is “okay,” and settle. Read about why “Okay”, is the favorite word of average people. They may never reach their full potential, may never reach their highest levels of happiness and satisfaction, and not make the impact on the world that they could make, and have a looming sense that there could be “more” to life.
Often, though, the feeling of being stuck comes with much larger consequences. Feeling stuck can hinder career growth. Feeling stuck can contribute to disrupted marriages. It can lead to huge midlife crises. The feeling can (and frequently does) increase as the years go on, leading to significant regrets about unfulfilled dreams. In fact, the number one regret of the dying, according to Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, is, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” She writes,
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Many people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.”
Approach Life Differently
Thankfully, some highly effective strategies can prevent you from feeling stuck. Using these strategies can help you avoid significant problems in your life. It’s different than conventional living, and it works.
Commonly, people live with many set routines. While certain routines are helpful, becoming stuck in the daily grind routine can get frustrating. Many people eat roughly the same foods each week, go to the same place each day, talk to the same people, keep the same commitments, and end up living life on autopilot.
It’s tough to feel like you’re progressing forward when each day is spent doing the same uninspiring routine. In order to avoid feeling stuck, it’s important to live intentionally. It’s crucial to live in the driver’s seat of your life and get out of autopilot mode.
First, ditch the False Objectives. Just because everyone in your family are doctors doesn’t mean that’s the best path for you. Just because all your friends are married with a big house, a white picket fence, and 2 kids doesn’t mean that’s the best path for you. Just because everyone you know works 9-5 doesn’t mean that’s the best path for you. It’s not easy to design your life intentionally, but it’s critical in order to avoid feeling stuck.
Remember, the majority of people feel stuck. So, if you’re doing things like the majority of people, you’ll likely feel stuck, too. You’ll need to think differently and create your life differently.
Two Questions to Ask Yourself Every Day
In order to intentionally design your life, avoid falling prey to False Objectives, and prevent feeling stuck, there are questions to ask yourself every day. These questions can help you stay focused on what matters most to you, help you avoid feeling stuck and frustrated, and create the best life possible.
1. Why am I going to do what I’m going to do today?
If you’re showing up to work each day, and giving your years to your job, it’s important that your “why” is deeper than “to pay the bills.” Knowing why you’re doing what you’re doing can help you make choices that inspire and motivate you.
By asking yourself why you’re going to do what you’re going to do today, you will be living intentionally. In today’s incredibly busy, easily distracted world, living intentionally and focusing every day on what matters most is unique. When you choose to ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing every day, it will help you stay focused on what’s truly important to you, which can prevent you from getting stuck.
2. What would future want me to do today?
Imagine yourself, in the future, as the best version of you. What would that version of you want you to do today? Making decisions from the viewpoint of the future you can help you move forward today and prevent the stuck and frustrated feeling.
When you make decisions from the viewpoint of future you, you will develop perseverance and reap the benefits of delayed gratification. Today’s society is very focused on instant gratification, but a lot of great things in life take time and effort. Learning to take small steps forward by making decisions from the future you standpoint can help you make massive progress forward toward your biggest goals and dreams.
After asking yourself the two questions, work on the plan to get unstuck. I’ve personally tried these strategies and they work for me.
Choose goals you truly desire to accomplish.
This might sound obvious but we all get sucked into False Objectives at times. When you’re setting goals in your career and your personal life, make sure they are goals that matter to you. Working hard toward big achievements that don’t align with your values, your priorities, and who you are at the core is a fast-track toward feeling stuck.
Learn about your strengths, your gifts, and your passions. Choose goals that align with who you are the core, and work toward goals that align with your innate strengths and gifts. This will help you maximize your potential and minimize the stuck and frustrated feelings.
Watch your mindset.
Often, we think we’re stuck, but the problem is our mindset. Being mindful of our mindset and self-talk is important to living a life of freedom and fulfillment. Work on rephrasing your self-talk in order to improve your mindset. For example, if you tell yourself, “I could never start a business,” rephrase it to, “I don’t know how to start a business YET, but I can learn.” If you find yourself saying, “I don’t have enough money to travel,” tell yourself, “I don’t have the money right now, but I can make a plan to save money to travel. Rephrasing your self-talk can help you see opportunities and possibilities instead of feeling stuck.
Occasionally, even the most driven people have days where they feel unmotivated. Check out this article for tips to get motivated when you feel like doing nothing. Those strategies can help you break free from the rut.
Get out of your comfort zone and add some excitement to your day.
Shaking up your daily routine and adding some excitement to your days can help you get unstuck. While breaking out of your daily routine can be uncomfortable, it can be a great way to invigorate your life. You can start by getting out of your comfort zone in small ways. Here are 7 simple ways to get out of your comfort zone that you can start doing today. As Brian Tracy says,
“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”
Getting out of your comfort zone and experiencing growth can help you to continue to move forward and prevent you from getting stuck.
Surround yourself with people who have done what you aspire to do.
It’s easy to get stuck if you’re trying to accomplish something and you’re struggling to believe it’s possible to accomplish it. Instead of letting yourself be isolated and stuck, commit to learning from people who have done what you aspire to do. This can help you believe it’s possible to achieve the same goals, and can help you be inspired to progress forward instead of staying in stuck-land.
You can seek out a mentor, or even read books or listen to podcasts by the people who have achieved your biggest goals and dreams.
It’s frustrating to feel stuck. Hopefully these strategies help you as much as they have helped me.
Featured photo credit: Nina Uhlíková/www.pexels.com via pexels.com
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The post Feeling Stuck Is Not Fun, This Is How I Never Get Stuck In Life Again appeared first on Lifehack.
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